Relay for Life/UNITED FOR HOPE/Big Success!!!!

To all of you who donated to Relay for Life/United for Hope, the group Ben is affiliated with, THANK YOU SO MUCH! He surpassed his pledge. It was great having time together, with the family for Easter yesterday. Ben like usual, is taking all in stride, with his joking and positive spin on life. AND, he is swigging his Odwalla carrot juice down, like his Health Nut, Hippie type ole Mom as asked! Smile! Today I got a card from Lloyd's oldest sister, Leslie, and thought, how nice. Then I opened it and out fell a generous check for Relay for Life in Ben's name, and I thought, OMGosh. It was not the amount. It was the caring. EVERY ten dollars even , was a blessing! And thank you so much. I cannot wait to walk the track at the old Troy football field across from Auburn High School next month and see all the booths, displays and luminaries they light at night in remembrance of both those who have lost their battles with cancer, and for those who are cancer survivors. Knowing my son like I do, he will likely be sitting in a lawn chair, since it will be just a few weeks after his surgery, cheering everyone on. And YES, we will be doing a luminary this year, with his name on it. As a cancer survivor! YAY!  He also likes to put a name on a luminary for his sweet Grandmother, Inez Gran who died from leukemia, and his favorite Aunt Judy (Dennis) and not to forget her daughter, my niece, Dannette Hughes. We have many family/friends on Facebook who have loved ones who could be included.

So on we go. Tomorrow Ben goes to the U of W to learn from an OT person how the recovery will go. He insists that he will be fine at home recovering, but once a mother, always a mother, lol, so there will be lots of homemade soups, trips to Auburn, and texting up a storm. We have received such strength and support from   so many people. Thank you! No one ever expects to sit in front of a doctor and hear the word, cancer. No one especially expects to hear it when they are in their thirties and active and healthy. But out of all things, come great lessons. As my girlfriend in California tells me, after her several surgeries and being a cancer survivor, it has been a HUGE blessing in disguise. Each day, she looks at life differently. With a greater acceptance and tolerance than she ever had before, and she's a GREAT person naturally. She says, in a flash, you look at those big things as not such big things anymore and  those wants as not so necessary for happiness. And she says, little things become wonderful, BIG things.  We will learn much through this. And one of the things is to keep enjoying the special little moments (always captured by me in Kodak moments, lol) and so I close with one of my favorite picture perfect snaps from last year. It was Ben's Birthday and we were at a restaurant at SouthCenter. Ben is with his lil sister (older, "big" sister Dee in reality, smile) We will be celebrating indeed again, Ben's birthday, and while he will be recovering, it will be a celebration we will do with gusto as usual. CHEERS!

Benjamin Gran, LOVES life, Lives it FULLY!

Before I begin, look hard, hanging out the train window, arms up...yep, that's our Ben! ;-)


Remembering how much my young son loved the plastic egg hunts and always was the winner. As a child, he never stood still, he still doesn't! His schedule is always filled with classes, meetings with friends and mentors, and he truly is in a "growth mode," (will not height wise, lol) but in LIFE! And it is so rewarding. He looks at things analytically and practically and loves planning, vs. just being like me, more from the seat of the pants. But, he looks at things the older he becomes with an obvious concern for how things affect others, with ethics, and with a heart that is kind and generous. 
This week, he had some growths removed at UW, as they check him over head to toe, getting him assessed and ready for his cancer surgery, May 1st, in which he will have his left kidney removed. We have been on such a journey together, since he was born, that this should be a piece of cake I guess. But it still takes all of my faith and steadfastness to hold tight....Ben embraces life, making every day count. Even though he is methodical, and a planner, he loves to reach for the stars. He has been a traveler, OMGosh, I cannot even tell you how many airplane and train trips he has taken. It was tough at first, letting go, when a child on the Autism spectrum spreads their wings. Well, any child, of course. But when you've watched a younger version Ben 24/7 to see they do not get hurt, that they haven't undone all five locks on the door and are who knows where, or just wondering since their maturity level is not always matching to their intellectual and chronological years what will happen when they venture into the big ole world...well, it has been hard at times to see his learning curve. But now, well, now, he is often the grounded, parent like son, who makes me laugh through the tears, and have my heart swell at how much he amazes me. I have grown into such a better person, because of my son. He has taught me not to base my happiness on what other people think. To have others judge and be self righteous and to still find joy in alone time and with the few who really love unconditionally. Sometimes people ask me, knowing I had a difficult marriage, if I would change anything, looking back this many years later. I tell them, no, absolutely not. For my children are such a combination of things I love, I believe they took the best of both worlds, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Forgiveness is such a choice to free oneself, and my son has taught me this. We laugh, and say, would I have done things differently, and I always say yes, I would have left sooner, children under each arm. Smile.


So on we go. Not looking and dwelling on the past. Not looking so much into the future, but into the present, a gift indeed. I wouldn't have chosen all of the challenges my son has had to face. I guess I'd have been a weenie, if I had been in charge! LOL! But in the journey, as foreign as it sometimes has felt, has been the bonding of greater proportion than the effort to keep moving along. 
If you have not had the opportunity to know the adult Ben, then please do so. He is gracious and bright, full of spunk, and has such a passion to be an example of seeing the worth, not the baggage so to speak, of each individual. If you have known Ben, recently, will you do us a favor, and leave your short comment, about why you believe Ben has touched your life, and why you believe he will go through this current storm with grace. Much love for all who have sent emails, FB comments, phone calls! It has been wonderful. I LOVE YOU ALL so much for your inspiration and concern. We are doing well. Going to have a small family gathering for Easter, and Ben's sister is hosting it, and we love going to Dee's. Have a wonderful Easter weekend, ALL of you. And your sunny thoughts, well wishes, prayers have gone straight to work to have us say, Life is Good. Hugs galore. XOXO

Message from Tammy Snow, one of Ben's program mentor. IT SAYS IT ALL

This letter is from someone who has become a dear friend to my son, and to me. Tammy Snow. A person who has worked years to advocate and provide programs tirelessly for people she loves, who just happen to have disabilities. As soon as Ben attended functions with her, and her husband Stu, I just heard so many wonderful things about this bubbly, outgoing, solid 24K gold woman, I asked, let me be her friend too...smile. She wrote this letter to Ben last evening after knowing the final consensus on his kidney cancer. It was too beautiful not to share. It gives an insight into my son, that makes me know, he indeed is a champion. My kind gentle giant, with a heart to give, have fun, have others have fun, and here he is on a sledding trip with Tammy. TY my wonderful friend. This letter will always be part of my journal, and now of Ben's and our journey. You are amazing, and thank you for sharing. XOXO   Here's the letter!

Dear Facebook Family and Friends,

Every once in a while God brings someone extra special into your life. That special person enriches your live in some way that you never expect. My special person God gave me recently is Benjamin Gran, or Ben as his friends call him. I met Ben when he attended one of my event trips with the city of Federal Way Parks and Recreation. My first impression of Ben was that he was a college professor who loved to volunteer his time to come along and share the fun we all had on these community trips. I really didn’t know he was a program participant until a few days later when I saw Ben on another of my trip lists. His sense of humor had me constantly hoping I didn’t wet my pants from laughing so hard. His patience and kindness to all he encountered was unflappable. Trains! I have never met nor do I think I will ever meet another human being who has such a vast and utterly amazing knowledge and love of trains as Ben. I love listening to his train and snow skiing adventures. The pictures he has taken of his adventures and stories of his experiences are so impressive and engaging that I have encouraged him to put these things all together in a hard back photo-adventure book for others to enjoy as well.

I would have never guessed Ben was living with Asperger’s, which is a form of autism. I firmly believe that God makes EVERY person on the planet different in some way because (1.) He LOVES wondrous variety (2.) Each person has a special purpose in Gods life plans. I believe that Ben's purpose is to show the world that no matter what life throws at you, faith, hope, humor and an undeniable love of God will help you overcome anything.

Recently Ben signed up to join Stu's and my Federal Way Special Olympics Soccer team. One of the requirements to join is to submit a current sports physical report from your doctor. Shockingly; upon having his sports physical Ben learned he has kidney cancer. Ben will be having surgery May 1st to remove his kidney. Throughout this terrifying situation Ben has remained so positive and upbeat that it comforts the rest of us worry warts. Ironically, prior to learning he had cancer Ben had signed up to participate in the Relay for Life event which is a fundraiser for the fight against Cancer. Knowing Ben and his unflappable, determined and happy spirit, it came as no surprise that he still plans to join his team in their efforts to raise $410.00 each in their fight on Cancer.

I am asking each of you to please bookmark and follow the Blog on Ben’s journey through his battle with cancer that Ben’s wonderful mom Linda has created. Linda is an incredibly talented writer and I believe that you will find her blog one that you can’t wait to read each day. The link is below in this post.

I would also like to ask each of you to please consider donating whatever you can, no matter how big or small the amount, to Ben’s Relay for Life team to help wipe Cancer off the planet earth !. I believe that almost everyone I know has been impacted by cancer in some way, i.e., friends, family, co-workers.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this post about my special person from God.

https://secure3.convio.net/tacs/site/Donation2?idb=651672421&df_id=1009572&FR_ID=37746&1009572.donation=form1&PROXY_ID=19374910&PROXY_TYPE=20&JServSessi

Benjamin Gran's Journey

Nobody ever expects to have it happen. But especially with their child. To have that silent, dreaded word invade your life with an explosion that rocks your world upside down. Just SIX little letters and you and their life, changes, forever. C-A-N-C-E-R....

It was a routine checkup for a sport's physical, that in the end, would be the act of providence to alert us that something was terribly wrong. It was raining the day I got a call from my 6'5 tall son, in a soft voice, saying, mom, can you meet me at the doctor's office. I was there in a heartbeat. It seems a blur now. The aggressive clinic doctor telling me my son was in trouble. Extremely elevated kidney proteins in his blood work, symptoms that he had ignored, thinking they were back pain. Then more tests. Ultrasounds. And finally the all confirming CT Scan. YUK! I just couldn't wrap my head around it!

Benjamin, if you know him, has had a journey that has had many roadblocks, many bumps in the road, and yet always makes the ole proverbial Lemonade. And so when he received the news, advancing cancer/tumor definitely malignant in the left kidney/so big it was described as the size of a baseball, his indomitable spirit gave me the strength to not crumble and scream, all in one split second. Cancer. Who would think it could elicit such a response. I couldn't look, as the first specialist showed the uninvited almost 410 cm mass deeply embedded in the kidney, so much so it dwarfed the other kidney. It was ugly and ominous to me, and I shook inside. Today's U of W doctor said, May 1st. The left kidney will be removed with the stranger, intact, and Ben thus begins his journey. Ironic because he is a part of his friend Daniel's : Relay for Life Cancer group called United for Hope. Now my amazing son joins the fight in a very personal way, and with great dignity and unwavering faith that this is another battle in which he will again be victorious.

We welcome you to follow us on this journey. We indeed will embrace your well wishes. Your prayers if you so desire. Your support. But Benjamin does not want this to be about him. He wants it to be about awareness and contributing to finding hope, resources and treatments for more birthdays for everyone with cancer. He believes in Uniting for Hope and will be asking next blog for you to match his pledge of $410.00 to say to that 410 cm tumor, the one the size of a baseball, YOU LOSE. You just got "knocked out of the park!" I love this. You can learn more of the incredible events that led to this amazing story with so many twists and turns.  Please watch for the next blog. The link will be there for your contribution to Daniel and Benjamin's and other's, Relay for Life/Cancer team:  United for Hope (I've joined, and enjoyed going last year to visit the event on the AHS field and you may enjoy joining as well.) But more than that, I believe our journey will help you see that miracles happen, even in the face of adversity. I LOVE you son. More than you can ever imagine. I just am going to need some serious help keeping you hogtied to the hospital bed and then to your recovery bed. But I have no doubt, this is a journey that will once again make us realize that truly, life is a gift. Make every day count. Don't sweat the small stuff, and things you can't change. But above all, keep faith, hope, and humor. Next blog writing, I'll have the link to match my son's pledge as well as what Benjamin asked the doctor,  first question as he told him the "news." It got an OMGosh out of me, and a smile, when I needed it. CHEERS to you all. And thank you son, for letting your story, be my story, and all who want to know it, as well. :-)