Relay for Life/UNITED FOR HOPE/Big Success!!!!

To all of you who donated to Relay for Life/United for Hope, the group Ben is affiliated with, THANK YOU SO MUCH! He surpassed his pledge. It was great having time together, with the family for Easter yesterday. Ben like usual, is taking all in stride, with his joking and positive spin on life. AND, he is swigging his Odwalla carrot juice down, like his Health Nut, Hippie type ole Mom as asked! Smile! Today I got a card from Lloyd's oldest sister, Leslie, and thought, how nice. Then I opened it and out fell a generous check for Relay for Life in Ben's name, and I thought, OMGosh. It was not the amount. It was the caring. EVERY ten dollars even , was a blessing! And thank you so much. I cannot wait to walk the track at the old Troy football field across from Auburn High School next month and see all the booths, displays and luminaries they light at night in remembrance of both those who have lost their battles with cancer, and for those who are cancer survivors. Knowing my son like I do, he will likely be sitting in a lawn chair, since it will be just a few weeks after his surgery, cheering everyone on. And YES, we will be doing a luminary this year, with his name on it. As a cancer survivor! YAY!  He also likes to put a name on a luminary for his sweet Grandmother, Inez Gran who died from leukemia, and his favorite Aunt Judy (Dennis) and not to forget her daughter, my niece, Dannette Hughes. We have many family/friends on Facebook who have loved ones who could be included.

So on we go. Tomorrow Ben goes to the U of W to learn from an OT person how the recovery will go. He insists that he will be fine at home recovering, but once a mother, always a mother, lol, so there will be lots of homemade soups, trips to Auburn, and texting up a storm. We have received such strength and support from   so many people. Thank you! No one ever expects to sit in front of a doctor and hear the word, cancer. No one especially expects to hear it when they are in their thirties and active and healthy. But out of all things, come great lessons. As my girlfriend in California tells me, after her several surgeries and being a cancer survivor, it has been a HUGE blessing in disguise. Each day, she looks at life differently. With a greater acceptance and tolerance than she ever had before, and she's a GREAT person naturally. She says, in a flash, you look at those big things as not such big things anymore and  those wants as not so necessary for happiness. And she says, little things become wonderful, BIG things.  We will learn much through this. And one of the things is to keep enjoying the special little moments (always captured by me in Kodak moments, lol) and so I close with one of my favorite picture perfect snaps from last year. It was Ben's Birthday and we were at a restaurant at SouthCenter. Ben is with his lil sister (older, "big" sister Dee in reality, smile) We will be celebrating indeed again, Ben's birthday, and while he will be recovering, it will be a celebration we will do with gusto as usual. CHEERS!

Benjamin Gran, LOVES life, Lives it FULLY!

Before I begin, look hard, hanging out the train window, arms up...yep, that's our Ben! ;-)


Remembering how much my young son loved the plastic egg hunts and always was the winner. As a child, he never stood still, he still doesn't! His schedule is always filled with classes, meetings with friends and mentors, and he truly is in a "growth mode," (will not height wise, lol) but in LIFE! And it is so rewarding. He looks at things analytically and practically and loves planning, vs. just being like me, more from the seat of the pants. But, he looks at things the older he becomes with an obvious concern for how things affect others, with ethics, and with a heart that is kind and generous. 
This week, he had some growths removed at UW, as they check him over head to toe, getting him assessed and ready for his cancer surgery, May 1st, in which he will have his left kidney removed. We have been on such a journey together, since he was born, that this should be a piece of cake I guess. But it still takes all of my faith and steadfastness to hold tight....Ben embraces life, making every day count. Even though he is methodical, and a planner, he loves to reach for the stars. He has been a traveler, OMGosh, I cannot even tell you how many airplane and train trips he has taken. It was tough at first, letting go, when a child on the Autism spectrum spreads their wings. Well, any child, of course. But when you've watched a younger version Ben 24/7 to see they do not get hurt, that they haven't undone all five locks on the door and are who knows where, or just wondering since their maturity level is not always matching to their intellectual and chronological years what will happen when they venture into the big ole world...well, it has been hard at times to see his learning curve. But now, well, now, he is often the grounded, parent like son, who makes me laugh through the tears, and have my heart swell at how much he amazes me. I have grown into such a better person, because of my son. He has taught me not to base my happiness on what other people think. To have others judge and be self righteous and to still find joy in alone time and with the few who really love unconditionally. Sometimes people ask me, knowing I had a difficult marriage, if I would change anything, looking back this many years later. I tell them, no, absolutely not. For my children are such a combination of things I love, I believe they took the best of both worlds, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Forgiveness is such a choice to free oneself, and my son has taught me this. We laugh, and say, would I have done things differently, and I always say yes, I would have left sooner, children under each arm. Smile.


So on we go. Not looking and dwelling on the past. Not looking so much into the future, but into the present, a gift indeed. I wouldn't have chosen all of the challenges my son has had to face. I guess I'd have been a weenie, if I had been in charge! LOL! But in the journey, as foreign as it sometimes has felt, has been the bonding of greater proportion than the effort to keep moving along. 
If you have not had the opportunity to know the adult Ben, then please do so. He is gracious and bright, full of spunk, and has such a passion to be an example of seeing the worth, not the baggage so to speak, of each individual. If you have known Ben, recently, will you do us a favor, and leave your short comment, about why you believe Ben has touched your life, and why you believe he will go through this current storm with grace. Much love for all who have sent emails, FB comments, phone calls! It has been wonderful. I LOVE YOU ALL so much for your inspiration and concern. We are doing well. Going to have a small family gathering for Easter, and Ben's sister is hosting it, and we love going to Dee's. Have a wonderful Easter weekend, ALL of you. And your sunny thoughts, well wishes, prayers have gone straight to work to have us say, Life is Good. Hugs galore. XOXO