Benjamin Gran, LOVES life, Lives it FULLY!

Before I begin, look hard, hanging out the train window, arms up...yep, that's our Ben! ;-)


Remembering how much my young son loved the plastic egg hunts and always was the winner. As a child, he never stood still, he still doesn't! His schedule is always filled with classes, meetings with friends and mentors, and he truly is in a "growth mode," (will not height wise, lol) but in LIFE! And it is so rewarding. He looks at things analytically and practically and loves planning, vs. just being like me, more from the seat of the pants. But, he looks at things the older he becomes with an obvious concern for how things affect others, with ethics, and with a heart that is kind and generous. 
This week, he had some growths removed at UW, as they check him over head to toe, getting him assessed and ready for his cancer surgery, May 1st, in which he will have his left kidney removed. We have been on such a journey together, since he was born, that this should be a piece of cake I guess. But it still takes all of my faith and steadfastness to hold tight....Ben embraces life, making every day count. Even though he is methodical, and a planner, he loves to reach for the stars. He has been a traveler, OMGosh, I cannot even tell you how many airplane and train trips he has taken. It was tough at first, letting go, when a child on the Autism spectrum spreads their wings. Well, any child, of course. But when you've watched a younger version Ben 24/7 to see they do not get hurt, that they haven't undone all five locks on the door and are who knows where, or just wondering since their maturity level is not always matching to their intellectual and chronological years what will happen when they venture into the big ole world...well, it has been hard at times to see his learning curve. But now, well, now, he is often the grounded, parent like son, who makes me laugh through the tears, and have my heart swell at how much he amazes me. I have grown into such a better person, because of my son. He has taught me not to base my happiness on what other people think. To have others judge and be self righteous and to still find joy in alone time and with the few who really love unconditionally. Sometimes people ask me, knowing I had a difficult marriage, if I would change anything, looking back this many years later. I tell them, no, absolutely not. For my children are such a combination of things I love, I believe they took the best of both worlds, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Forgiveness is such a choice to free oneself, and my son has taught me this. We laugh, and say, would I have done things differently, and I always say yes, I would have left sooner, children under each arm. Smile.


So on we go. Not looking and dwelling on the past. Not looking so much into the future, but into the present, a gift indeed. I wouldn't have chosen all of the challenges my son has had to face. I guess I'd have been a weenie, if I had been in charge! LOL! But in the journey, as foreign as it sometimes has felt, has been the bonding of greater proportion than the effort to keep moving along. 
If you have not had the opportunity to know the adult Ben, then please do so. He is gracious and bright, full of spunk, and has such a passion to be an example of seeing the worth, not the baggage so to speak, of each individual. If you have known Ben, recently, will you do us a favor, and leave your short comment, about why you believe Ben has touched your life, and why you believe he will go through this current storm with grace. Much love for all who have sent emails, FB comments, phone calls! It has been wonderful. I LOVE YOU ALL so much for your inspiration and concern. We are doing well. Going to have a small family gathering for Easter, and Ben's sister is hosting it, and we love going to Dee's. Have a wonderful Easter weekend, ALL of you. And your sunny thoughts, well wishes, prayers have gone straight to work to have us say, Life is Good. Hugs galore. XOXO